Archive

Archive for the ‘Hilarious’ Category

Still A Winner

October 24, 2010 Leave a comment

I woke up this morning at a chicks loft in her bed… Really, REALLY hungover. Jokingly I told her that I’m thinking of mellowing out on partying and drinking. She then laughed at me. I couldn’t help but laugh with her. Who am I kidding, I like to rage!

But then the best thing happened:

Girl: You know the only time you ever see me is when you’re drunk…

Me: That is so not true (long pause) YEA, that is so not true

Girl: Well there was the one time you were really hungover.

Me: HAHAHA! Wow, I’m a dick.

I’ll let you guys decide if you think she’s hot or not.

Categories: Hilarious, Random, Women

Big Winner

October 23, 2010 Leave a comment

When girls would come over to my place, I use to sometimes think to myself. Did she really mean she wasn’t going to do anything with me tonight? Then when they would come over… They would always do more than nothing. The majority of the time, they would be in my bed and ready for, the “business”.

I had a girl over a couple of days ago. We met at a bar and she came to my place for the first “date”. Now in my opinion, if a girl comes over to your place on the first night hanging out aside from meeting at the bar then she’s planning something. She already knows what she wants out of the situation. She wants to get the dick.

I’m already thinking this when she’s on my couch drinking my red wine. After we watched a movie we started to fool around. Then while i’m “excited” and she’s playing with it, I ask if she will suck on it. Haha… She laughed and I got annoyed. Then she replies with, who do you think I am? I’m not going to do that.

I WAS SHOCKED! In my mind I’m thinking, then why the fuck come over to my place and fool around with me? Hmm… I decided to go along with it and accepted the fact that nothing would happen. Except me busting a nut on her chest or stomach. Eventually I ask her if I can grab a condom and get this party started. She thought about it for a split second and said go for it. I leaped up off the couch, grabbed a condom and proceeded to pleasure this young lady.

I don’t get it though… So you won’t blow me but you’ll let me fuck you?! Weird… Either way, I’m the big winner for the evening.

Categories: Hilarious, Random, Women

Damn Victoria Secret

 How do these tits below…

End up looking like these tits?!

It’s a TRAVISHAMOCKERY!! FUCK… YOUUUUUUUUUU Victoria Secret.

Categories: Hilarious, Women

Says You…

Says me…

I can’t remember the last time I had sex sober.

This WordPress App for the iPhone could become a problem.

Night bitches.

Categories: Hilarious, Women Tags: ,

FUNNY!

Hahaha! I can’t stop laughing!! Thanks to IMNOTATOY for this. I’m a little late… But still, this shit is great if you need a quick laugh.

HAHAHAHAHA!!

Categories: Hilarious, Random Tags: , ,