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Confused Tar Heel

I had no idea that Washington DC was nicknamed “Chocolate City”. After about two weeks or so of being here it now makes sense. I’ve seen a nice assortment of Black chicks out here that are unreal sexy. I’ll be honest and say I haven’t been with too many Black chicks. Until these past few weeks, I could have probably counted on one hand how many Black chicks I’ve actually smashed. Well… That changed pretty quickly recently. Now I can count them with TWO hands!

Last Friday I went out late night style here in DC. Everyone around town kept recommending this club called The Park. I figured why not check it out and I’m actually glad that I did. The venue was beautiful. The door guys did a great job keeping the ratio from women to men strong. Probably around 3 or 4 to 1. This place is upscale so naturally all the women were in their slutties of attire.

Walking through the venue I catch eyes with a couple girls but wasn’t too impressed. For multiple reasons… I’m in this club alone and a few of the girls were in packs. You’ll never catch me going up to a girl that’s with more than one of their friends. In my opinion you’re setting yourself up for failure by trying to infiltrate the group. Other girls were not up to par with what I was looking for. In random cities where no one knows me or what I do, it’s best to go right after the hottest of the hottest chicks in the room. At the end of the day if I get rejected I’m not too concerned. They’ll never see me again after my project is complete in this city.

All of a sudden I see a nice one with just one of her friends. Perfect! We chat for a bit and then we start to dance. I will say this about girls from the South. They know how to mooooooove. While in Houston I couldn’t find a chick who couldn’t dance. This young lady was from North Carolina. She did some dance moves that I’ve only seen in Dirty South bootleg music videos. Now don’t get it confused, she was not by any means a “hood chick”. Her father and mother are surgeons and she’s a political advisor in the city. Drives a new Lexus IS350 and has her own condo… All at 22. I think for a hot second I compared my life to hers and wanted to punch a baby. But that left me quickly after I decided to do my best to get back at her achievements by making her cater to my every need.

Signature move while dancing with a girl for a long period of time: Put her hands on my dick.

See… I do this because after dancing for a long period of time. The girl knows what she is doing to you. She knows you’re excited. She also is more than likely turned on by it. Depending on how big/small your package is. I’m already turned on by her without even dancing. But having her body close to mine on the dancefloor is just adding icing to the cake. Immediately after her ass is pressed against me, all I can think about is taking her back to my hotel or going to her place. I try to put her hand on it and she promptly pulls it away like she knows what I’m going to do. I laugh and she turns around smiles at me and says the following:

“I’m a good girl and a Daddy’s girl… My dad would not like me to be touching on you and we just met, that’s not going to happen.”

I uhh… Know how this game is played. I think she wanted me to come back with some kind of line like:

“You’re not with your Daddy now. What’s wrong with touching it? We don’t have to do anything else”


“Girl, I was just playing with you! I just wanted to see what you were going to do”

Well, the game is to keep them guessing. I didn’t say anything actually. I just gave her a half-ass smile and raised an eyebrow. Ultimately I’ve learned that most girls want you to sweat them and press them to get what you want. They want to have the control over the guy. But in a city like DC where the women out number the men 3-1… I’m not having it. And because she was just one in a line of 5 or 6 others who were giving me eyes in the club that night. Eventually the table turns from me trying to get her to touch it, to her now asking me where my hotel is. Umm… Yes? We start to make-out following the question. The friend who was with her just lost her purse so she had to take her back to her place. I told her perfect, I’m coming over also. Then she said the oh so predictable line to me:

“Ok, that’s cool… But you have to be good. Hands to yourself!”

HAHAHA! Yea, ok. We leave the club and jump into a cab. Finally we’re at her place and the friend immediately passes out in the guest room. Now it’s me and the newly graduate from UNC. Another thing I noticed about Southern Girls is that they love to cook. Oh yea, she’s going to cook for me alright:

Me – Hey… So, I’m kind of hungry.

Her – Oh I love to cook! What are you in the mood for?!

Me – Whatever you feel like making… Just make sure it includes scrabbled eggs, toast and sausage. [smile]

She cooked some dope as eggs and sausage. Once I cleaned my plate she ended up on my lap. Yet again she’s telling me that I’m not going to get any and that we can go to her room but I have to behave. I was kind of annoyed at this point because what chick invites you to her place at 2AM and doesn’t expect to get fucked?! Why not just come out and say, what you’re ultimately thinking? Don’t talk shit like you’re not going to fuck and I’m a good girl, yada yada yada.

Now I’m in the room and she pulls out a BOX of condoms that she has in her drawer. Yea, good girl my ass! We have sex and I pass out. Mission accomplished, bitches.

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