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DC Randomness

My new project has me in Washington DC, no more Upstate New York for me. This is my first time here and I must say… I’m having some fun. I’d be lying to you if I said I was not nursing a two-day hangover. For the first time in a long time, Patron has me out of commission.

I drink it a lot and I know when I’m drinking some good Patron or bad Patron. I sensed that the drinks I was having on Saturday were bad, but I let the chicks around me blind me from switching to something easier, like beer. My first rookie mistake of the year. Now let’s make sure that it never happens again.

I’ve been here for a little over a week now and amazingly I tackled my first vagina within the first couple of days. You want to hear about it? Of course you do:

Happy Tuesday to me! The first bar I walk into I see a young lady by herself at the bar. She was on her phone and as I walked by, we caught eyes. We actually caught eyes a couple times throughout my first drink. After small talking with the bartender, he introduces her to me and we start to chop it up for a few minutes. To be honest, she was an attractive girl but I was not into her. She kept me interested for the most part because she had a nice body. If anything I could try to smash it out and ignore the fact that she has the most annoying laugh… EVER. I’m kind of a dork when I talk to chicks, the fastest way to a chicks heart next to cooking for them is laughter.

Write that shit down… There will be a test later.

So I’m making her laugh and cringing every time she does so. We decide to go to another bar. She mentions to me that I need to catch up on drinks because she’s got 3 more on me. Awesome… She’s a drinker. Some panties are definitely coming off tonight. I’m a fan of reading body language and the signs that she’s down to get down. Aside from making jokes, I like to do the best thing ever and also act like I’m not too interested in her. I mean… Because I’m not. I’m more interested in seeing if she shaved her box more than who she is or what she’s trying to do with her life. I truthfully have selective hearing. I pay close attention to keywords in the conversation:

Catch up on drinks

I wanted to go out alone and see the town

I’m fine with being by myself

I’m staying kind of far from here

I lived in Brasil for a year

Other than what is stated above, I have no fucking idea what this chick was about. All of the sentences above helped me form a simple conclusion about this chick. Basically she’s going to fuck tonight and I should just sit back and wait for the right time to say, let’s go back to my room. After I order 3 more Patrons on the rocks throughout the night, she asks’ for more Sapphire Tonics. Yea, well… She kind of disappeared for a few in the restroom after her 3rd drink. I thought to myself, this can’t be making a turn for the worse right now. My sure-fire bang session might have just fell through my fingertips.

A couple of chicks who were sitting across from me, who were really hot, decided to check on the girl for me. I guess they noticed that she was missing for some time. Which was kind of annoying because if I would have noticed THAT. I probably would have taken a trip over to their table. But after some thinking at the time, I decided to NOT be a dick and just leave this chick hanging. It’s crazy, I know… How does one grow a heart when he’s knee-deep in Patron and vagina? She eventually comes out of the restroom and apologizes for basically puking and leaving me hanging.

I laugh it off primarily because it happens to all of us. I really wasn’t too concerned with her puking. I knew I wasn’t going to kiss her though.

She mentions to me that she’s ready for round 2 at another bar. I kind of laugh it off almost as if I was saying “yeah right”. We start to walk back towards my hotel and she’s just talking and laughing and talking and laughing. At this point I just smile and nod and make sure I’m heading in the right direction. We eventually make it back to my hotel room and she’s still annoying me with her laugh. But I can’t just ditch her. I genuinely care about her wellbeing so I tell her to just relax with me so she could sober up. We lay on my bed to watch a movie and halfway through the movie I realize that I’m not annoyed enough to not have sex with her. Haha! Love it.

After about 30 – 45min of the movie that I was actually into I start to unbutton her shirt. She smiles and just leans back to leave me to undressing her. Then after I’m playing with her tits, she does the unexpected… I thought she was going to kiss my neck but she lunges out to kiss me. Ahh, shit… I just made-out with vomit mouth. And yes, I could taste what she ate earlier. I immediately played it cool and pushed her back. The pants come down and now I’m balls deep in her vagine. Thank you to half a bottle of Patron I consumed earlier in the night because I was fucking for a good 45 min. I must say… That’s a personal best for me this year.

Also, she was just as annoying when getting pounded.

She tries to leave right after and then the nice side of me came out again. I told her to relax and just sleep off the alcohol. I didn’t really want her to go home so late by herself… AND, I like morning sex. But when I woke up the morning after, I realized how annoying she was and just acted like I was sleep when she left.

Fun times.

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