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Vagina Slugging Percentage

2010 is definitely the year for Sports. We have the Super Bowl just passed (which was bullshit). We’re now into the first day of the Winter Olympics. Next month Manny “Pac-Man” Pacquioa will fight Joshua Clottey, Floyd “Money” Mayweather will fight “Sugar” Shane Mosley. Let us not forget the grand daddy of all major sporting events with the FIFA World Cup in South Africa!! Then there is the NBA Finals and NHL Finals (which will include the LA Kings!).

With all of that said, there is only one place I’d rather be during any if not all of those major events… The place is Las Vegas, Nevada. The State of Nevada has done a great job Marketing Las Vegas. We all know the slogan “What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas”. That city breeds weirdness of the best kind. In that town, anyone with the right attitude can get laid. I’ve personally built up a pretty good Vagina Slugging Percentage there (VSP).

Primarily because a good majority of girls that go to Vegas are trying to get down. Even those that are in big groups and swear “it’s just going to be a girls trip”. Love it. Because I’m such a stickler on my percentages, I don’t do too many Vegas trips. I keep them down to about 1 trip every Quarter. I don’t want to bore myself by going to much and I don’t want to lose that flare that I get every time I land in the big city of lights. That’s the town where you really have to go big every time… Because there is not reason not to. You’ve got to come Mentally, Physically and Financially ready to let it all hang out.

Mentally – You need to set some goals ahead of time and prepare yourself for them. Me… I go to drink my nuts off and meet chicks. A week or two out, I’m banging out some 5’s and 6’s to build my stamina and confidence for the 7’s and above. When the day of reckoning comes and we check into our rooms, my next mission is to drop my gear and head for to the closest bar. Helpful tip – You can drink in public in Vegas. You’ll know who I am on The Strip if you see a guy with a bottle of Grey Goose in one hand and a bottle of Orange Juice in the other.

Physically – I like to workout but the last place I really care about someone seeing my body is in Vegas. I’m not up early enough to go to the pool and in the evening I’m not sober enough to put on a show for some chick. What I mean about being Physically read, I mean getting your body into peak drinking shape. There is always heavy drinking in Vegas. Stick to one type of liquor and pound that bitch back for a few weeks up to your trip to get your body on the same page. After a couple of week of straight Jameson on the rock or with a smash of water. You’re ready to take on any Irish fuck. Helpful tip – Don’t mix your liquors. Pick something and stay with it, whether it’s beer, liquor or wine. You start migrating over to different shit your liable to pass out with a random midget stripper and wake up with a funnel in your ass and a piercing on your dick. Believe me… I know… Don’t ask how I know.

Financially – I learned a long time ago that spending money on girls at bars is useless. I like to do it sometimes, just to be nice. Not because I’m trying to bang her but probably because I feel sorry for her. Like if all of her friends are talking to guys and there is the one random ugly chick by herself. I’ll buy her a drink just cause she’s ugly… It’s cool, she’ll get her’s one day and she will think of me. Anyways… You need to be ready to spend some cheese getting into clubs and parties where chicks will be at. Let’s face it… If you don’t have a nice pair of tits in Vegas or wearing a chain that’s worth more than a midwest Mansion. You’re not going to get in anywhere. Be ready to grease some palms with a $20, $50 and sometimes $100. Then also get ready to pop bottles. In my opinion, nothings better in Vegas than sitting at a booth with some friends and popping bottles. It’s cleaner, makes a lot of sense once you calculate how much you’re going to spend anyway and chicks are drawn to guys who have free-flowing alcohol within arms reach. Also, I’m always dressed nice… If some dip shit spills a drink on me on the dance floor or at the bar, it’s going to ruin my night. Why take that chance? Sit the fuck down and let the people come to you and your friends.

My last trip to Vegas it was just me and my best friend who had tickets to the Pacquioa vs. Hatton fight. We ended up at LAX with Bottle Service. After we were seated, I scurried over to the bouncer controlling our area and asked for him to bring chicks to us. He was a huge success and he made a couple extra bucks that night.

Vegas… I’m due for a trip.

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